You know, I never realized just how many cowards there are in this world. So many who walk away from any real confrontation or stance.
My world has been shaped by this community of punk rock and hardcore music. A collective of misfits who came together and bonded over frustrations and insecurities - even if we won’t freely admit it. So when someone in my world, of my mindset, begins to display aggressively passive behaviors to things we all agree are fucked, it’s beyond disappointing.
Today we read that Steve from New Found Glory was arraigned on multiple charges of child molestation and counts of child porn on his computer. And almost as quickly as people were erupting in outrage, there was a small group of people out there immediately defending him. And it made me think - why? Why are people so quick to defend something so serious. Something that we know is so offensively common in our world. And what I realized is that it’s not so much that he was in a band they liked as much as it is that they are cowards.
Oh sure, the band had a lot to do with it. I mean, if you found out the guy who handed you your latte every morning was arraigned on multiple counts of child molestation you probably wouldn’t want to see him much less defend him. So why? Because you know multiple charges like that don’t just appear out of nowhere. But this has more to do with people being terrified to confront that what they know is wrong. We all would like to pretend that the people we know and the things we bought into over our lifetime is real and true because if it wasn’t, well then, that means we got fooled. And no one likes being the fool.
I know this because one of my my best friends of 20 years recently got accused of rape for the 4th time. And that’s four times too many. He was pulled into the police station and questioned but there was no evidence because the victim, who had the courage to walk into a police station and give a statement, unfortunately waited too long so he was let go. And just like that he’s back on the streets. Going to shows. Walking the sidewalks. Chatting with friends and even still employed as a security guard at one of Chicago’s most prominent venues. I’m sure this will get back to him at some point and I say, I don’t give a fuck. I believed in him and I was fooled. I’ve seen the damage and months of trauma in the eyes of his most recent victims and I chose to draw a line in the sand. I’m here - and rapist and rape-apologists are over there. I chose to cut ties with multiple people who support him. People I was GOOD friends with. Why? Not because they’re simple cowards, but because they have weak hearts. Because they choose to go on shaking his hand and asking about his day and when you do that, you’re saying “I don’t believe you” to his victims. And call me crazy, but I actually believe in this community. One that bonds over the fucked up matters in this world and actively raises and hand that says “I want no part of that.” And when you brush the darkest parts of humanity, rape and child abuse, under the rug because the accused is in a “cool band” or they “play sports really well” or “well, they’re nice to me” - you become part of the problem.
I was a victim of child abuse. And maybe that is why I take this so seriously. And maybe that’s why you don’t. Because maybe you were never a five year old boy that had to live through it. Because you never had to have someone NOT believe you. And maybe it’s because you never knew what it was like when your father was laughing and shaking hands and singing along to songs and having friends over for dinner when you knew how dark and rotten of a human being he was at night.
If there is one thing that I need you to take away from this is RAPISTS AND CHILD MOLESTERS DON’T LOOK LIKE RAPISTS AND CHILD MOLESTERS! They look like your friends or your doctors or your bus drivers or your moms or your dads or like ANYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! Rapists and child molesters laugh and sing and dance and drink beer and eat pizza just like you! So just because you say to yourself, “Well, I mean, he was nice to me!” Doesn’t mean shit to the victim. I’ve met Scott from NFG a few times, I have hung out with Ian Watkins from Lost Prophets and I lived with my father for years and guess what? They were all really nice guys - until they thought they could get away with the crime of taking advantage of a child.
Your apathy isn’t cool or edgy or punk.
It’s a trite and old joke that only shows just how insincere you truly are.
"if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything" is all bullshit rhetoric if when it comes time to take a real stance and draw a line in the sand you would rather take the path of least resistance. And I don’t want those people in my life. When you know rape statistics (2-6% account for false claims) which means roughly there’s a 94% chance an accused rapist is guilty, combined with the fact that you know MOST victims never press charges, why would you NOT choose to believe a victim?
Because most people are fucking cowards and don’t back up their words. And while that infuriates me, it’s worse for the victims. Because when you immediately back a “famous dude” - you’re telling that five year old boy, that 14 year old girl, that 21 year old woman, that they are a liar.
And that makes you a goddamn shameful coward.
"There is a fundamental concern that the content of such magazines normalizes the treatment of women as sexual objects. We are not killjoys or prudes who think that there should be no sexual information and media for young people. But are teenage boys and young men best prepared for fulfilling love and sex when they normalize views about women that are disturbingly close to those mirrored in the language of sexual offenders?" - Dr. Peter Hegarty
- Lad Mag
- Lad Mag
- Lad Mag
- Lad Mag
- Lad Mag
- Lad Mag
- Lad Mag
- Lad Mag
But rape culture doesn’t exist, right?
Trigger Warning: Rape/ Rape Culture. We put together this helpful explainer for everything you need to know about rape culture. Read the whole thing here.
Awesome job Buzzfeed.
- Easy and very effective
- Requires nothing but your body
- Includes attack
Very useful to know, pass and share please.
I don’t mean to impose a personal favour on you guys, but I really would like to ask that everyone who follows me reblog this.
I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head.
Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away.
So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out.
I mean again I don’t want the point of this to be my sob story or whatever but if you could reblog this it would seriously mean a lot
One of the few things I’ll reblog without having watched (yet) because it’s important.
I have watched this video, his technique called shrimping seems pretty effective. I’ve never tried it but I hope there would be stories about people getting away using this technique.
(Source: , via rahzzah)
For years, she was known to the public as the Bloomingdale Library rape victim.
Then, in 2011, her family asked she be called the Bloomingdale Library rape survivor.
Now, she wants people to just call her Queena.
On the night of April 24, 2008, when Queena went to the Bloomingdale Library to return books, she was raped, beaten and left to die. She was 18, about to graduate high school and getting ready to attend the University of Florida on a full scholarship. Her attacker, Kendrick Morris, now 21, was convicted in May 2011 and is serving a 65-year state prison sentence.
Since then, her family and the community have held fundraisers and 5K races to raise money for her treatment, never revealing her name or showing her face.
On Saturday, the family will launch a new website, JoinQueena.com. The site documents Queena’s life and recovery. It features updates on her progress from her doctors, therapists and her family, photos and a link to donate through PayPal.
The family wanted a way for the public to help Queena, now turning 23, without having to write a check or go to a bank, her mother Vanna, 50, said.
But they wanted a better name for the website than “Bloomingdale Survivor.” Friends offered suggestions like “My Angel” or “Living Angel.” Queena would make a face, with her mouth in the shape of an O, to indicate no, she didn’t like those.
Her sister, Anna, 26, asked her: Did she just want Queena.com? Her face lit up with a smile, Vanna said. They asked her over and over, are you sure you want to use your real name?
She was sure. She wants to be an inspiration, her sister said, not a victim. They decided on JoinQueena.com.
At the request of the family, and because of the nature of the crime, last names are being withheld by the Tampa Bay Times.
The attack left Queena unable to walk, talk, see or eat on her own. She lives at home southeast of Tampa with her mother, who cares for her full time. But she has made some progress, Anna said.
Queena eats pureed foods, can form some syllables and can stand for periods of time with little assistance, Anna said. She has taken a few steps with the help of therapists and is tracking objects with her eyes better.
Her therapies include speech, physical and occupational, aquatic, yoga, neuro-stimulating treatments, acupuncture, massage and music.
Medicaid covers $1,500 per year for speech and physical therapy. But it costs the family about $70,000 a year for all of Queena’s therapies and medical supplies.
Queena has different therapy sessions each week in St. Petersburg, Palm Harbor, Valrico and Sun City Center. Her mother drives her, and the cost for gas adds up.
The family relies on donations to a fund for Queena through the Bank of Tampa and SunTrust. In the first three years after the attack, donations poured in. People still donate, but every year donations are fewer and fewer, Vanna said. She’s concerned about the fund running dry.
She’s worried about bankruptcy. She’s worried they’ll have to cut back therapies, that she won’t be able to take Queena out as much. When they go out, people talk to Queena and she listens to everyone around her. It’s good for her, Vanna says, because it stimulates her brain.
"I get afraid," she said.
In addition to the website launch, Queena will attend a 23rd birthday celebration her family is holding for her at 1 p.m. Saturday at Keel and Curley Winery in Plant City, with a prayer vigil at 2 p.m.
"Every time her birthday rolls around, we are all reminded of how precious life is," Anna said. "To see the community come together every year, it is very heartwarming and gives the family that extra comfort and motivation to keep pushing forward."
On Wednesday, Queena lay in a hospital bed in her blue room at home, where her physical therapist comes for the day’s session. Her therapy dog, Charlie, a little white Shih Tzu adopted from county Animal Services last year, waits for her in another room. Medical supplies share the shelves with stuffed animals and Gators memorabilia. The therapist works with Queena while her home health aide looks on. He works on her leg muscles while she’s lying down. He props small inflatable balls under her legs and has her push against his hands with her foot.
They slowly help her up so her arms are resting on balls on either side of her. The therapist tells her to look straight ahead. When she’s sitting up, he’ll let go of her for seconds at a time to work on sitting up on her own. He’ll ask if she’s doing okay. She makes a noise to tell him she’s all right.
Paula McDonald of Wimauma helped put together the website. She got to know Queena’s family when her daughter, Kendall, was a senior at East Bay High School last year. Kendall and other students at East Bay, which Queena had attended, helped organize a 5K fundraiser, and McDonald offered to help the family any way she could.
McDonald works in design and communications, and in November got in touch with Full Media, an Internet marketing company in Georgia she had worked with before, to get some tips on how to set up Queena’s website. The company ended up offering to create the site for the family.
"They really stepped up to the plate," McDonald said. "They were really interested in Queena’s story and helping with the website."
McDonald admires the family’s sense of strength and forgiveness, she said.
"For me as a parent, it hits close to home," she said. "Parents of teenage daughters, especially, you never hope to find yourself in that situation."
As kids, Queena and Anna were inseparable, Anna said. Their mother worked a lot, and Anna babysat her sister.
"We played together, slept in bunk beds, took the bus together, went to sleepovers together, crossed the street together," she said. "We were opposites, but we rarely fought."
Her sister was “Miss Bossy,” Anna said. “She cracked me up all the time, and still does. She has a cute, klutzy personality and it’s hard not to laugh at her nonsense.”
Like the time, just after getting her driver’s license, Queena drove her sister to the mall for the first time. She pulled into a parking spot, got out, shut the door, then realized the keys were still in the car. And the car was still running.
"She is the best, most supportive and fun sister I could have ever asked for," Anna said.
Anna has lived with Queena and their mother for the past five years to help with Queena’s care. She’s moving soon, to a house about 15 minutes away. Queena has already staked claim on her bedroom for when she visits.
Queena’s journey has put life into perspective, Anna said.
"It’s almost impossible to have a bad day when I think of everything that she has gone through and the resilience that she shows," Anna said. "Life is about family and community and doing the best you can to positively influence those around you."
I wish more people would reblog instead of just liking this post since her family is struggling financially. They’re constantly having to host fundraisers to pay for her medical bills.
Just to remind everyone of how gruesome this case was, in addition to being sexually assaulted, the perpetrator "[Kendrick] Morris beat [Queena] so badly, he broke her nose and fractured her skull. She can no longer see, walk or talk."
Don’t be a chump, signal boost.
And at the very least, visit the website and read about her story.
Ethiopian girl guarded from gang rape & assault by three lions.
“The girl had been taken by seven men who wanted to force her to marry one of them. She was beaten repeatedly. Then the lions chased off her captors. The three lions guarded her for about half a day. They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest.”
Then, Stuart Williams (the local wildlife ‘expert’) suggests that perhaps the lions mistook the 12 year old girl’s cries for a lion cub. Which seems awfully silly, considering that lions are perfectly capable of telling apart the gazelles they eat from their own cubs, aren’t they?
if fuckin lions know that rape is bad then so should you
Someone deleted the source link. Here it is again.
Akicon, the for-profit con of bootleg merchandise fraud, bilking and abusing their artist’s alley, and booking guests with a sexual harassment history and covering for their assaults. Akicon Management has hired Leslie Burt Shotwell (DJ Victor Malice) a felon convicted of: Sexual Assault of a minor, drugging, and rape. (HERE) He has been hired by management since 2011-2013. By doing so, they have endangered countless convention attendee’s. This year Akicon management ignored warnings from countless convention go-ers about Shotwell being a felon with rape charges, and led to another convention attendee getting drugged and raped by Shotwell. When she reported the assault to Akicon Management, they called her a liar and defended Shotwell. Later Management tried to cover their tracks by stating: “We can’t help what happens in private hotel rooms.”. Akicon needs to realize what they do every year is wrong, and we will not stand for it. Get Akicon shut down for good.
If you would like to Sign this petition follow the Link above.
Please Sign and reblog/share/tweet. I want this to spread like a wildfire.
Please, even if youre not a WA state resident, signal boost this for me.
This con needs to be shut down before more people are hurt.
Where one terrible con story comes to and end, another begins like an after burn.
On the left we have the lyrics from Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines. On the right we rape survivors participating in Project Unbreakable, showing the various things that were said to them by their rapist.
And now you have a definitive argument why Blurred Lines is a terrible song.
Contrary to what you’ve probably been hearing, Samantha Geimer’s new memoir The Girl (out today) doesn’t excuse Roman Polanski’s conduct. She calls it rape, records her initial impression that he “looked like a ferret,” reiterates that she said no multiple times and that he knew she was 13, states that he lied about the incident in his autobiography, and says she wasn’t particularly affected by an apologetic note he sent her in 2009. In other words, the book, co-authored by journalist Judith Newman, is a pretty solid effort by Geimer to control her own story without excusing a thing. The prose and tone are restrained, reasonable, and she tells a convincing story of having been too young to know what she was in for — with Polanski, with prosecutors, and with the press.
But an inability to hear Geimer out has marked this whole case, so we might expect to read reviews that are determined to reduce this whole thing to a Polanski Good/Polanski Bad food fight. The nuance she says she’s looking for will undoubtedly continue to elude the coverage, which clings to the idea that Geimer has “forgiven” Polanski and that therefore we should too.
I usually read Flavorwire for their oddity writing habits (and often get mad with them) but today I read the Roman Polanski piece and it was a home run in terms of why you can’t let this slip because he’s a “famous” guy.
A good read, no triggers for explicit imagery or descriptions. Just summation of emotions in a definitive way.
Outrage is growing against a Billings, Montana, judge who handed down a 30-day sentence to a rapist teacher and said the victim, who had killed herself, “was as much in control of the situation” as the teacher—35 years her senior at the time—because she was “older than her chronological age.” Prosecutors had sought a 20-year sentence in the case, with 10 years suspended. District Judge G. Todd Baugh imposed a 15-year sentence and suspended all but 31 days of it, with one day credited for time already served. The judge noted that the crime “did not warrant a lengthy sentence.”
Whatever other rulings the 66-year-old Baugh has made during his time on the bench, that one makes him unfit to serve a single day longer.
His victim was a 14 year-old child.
FOURTEEN. YEARS. OLD.
And he was given 31 days for raping a child.
I don’t even have words right now, I’m so angry.
Here is the whole story from Dailymail UK.
Here’s an excerpt that will make your blood boil…
"It was later revealed that administrators at Billings Senior High School had warned Rambold not to touch female students or be alone with them”
I’d be just as mad if not more mad at the admins that ALLOWED this guy to keep working at a co-ed high school.
They knew. They knew he was a threat to those kids and they let him keep working in that school.
There’s more going on here than a shitty judge, there’s also a shitty teaching admin.
So here’s there names and emails.
Dennis Holmes, Principal
Joe Sukut, Associate Principal
Shelli Strouf, Assistant Principal
Jeff Uhren, Assistant Principal
Academy (406) 281-5188
Senior (406) 281-5408
Mark Wahl, Assistant Principal
These contacts are from the Billings Senior High School website (via).
Morocco to change laws to outlaw rape marriages after suicide of girl forced to wed her rapist
Nearly a year after Morocco was shocked by the suicide of a 16-year-old girl who was forced to marry her alleged rapist, the government has announced plans to change the penal code to outlaw the traditional practice.
Women’s rights activists on Tuesday welcomed Justice Minister Mustapha Ramid’s announcement, but said it was only a first step in reforming a penal code that doesn’t do enough to stop violence against women in this North African kingdom.
A paragraph in Article 475 of the penal code allows those convicted of “corruption” or “kidnapping” of a minor to go free if they marry their victim and the practice was encouraged by judges to spare family shame. (AP Photo/Abdeljalil Bounhar)
This is the article of the day.
I Was Raped—and Then the Police Told Me I Made It Up
If you think India is the only place cops treat rape victims like shit, think again . At age nineteen, Sara Reedy was working as a cashier in a gas station in the 1000-person burgh of Cranberry, Pennsylvania when one night a serial rapist named Wilbur Brown opened the door to the station with cellophane wrapped around his fingers. He forced her out in front of the station, where he made her perform oral sex on him, while holding his pistol against her head. There were no security cameras. He then went back inside with Sara, robbed the cash drawer of around $600, and afterwards, hid her in a room behind the office in the back of the service station, where he forced her to tear out all of the phone lines in sight. Incidentally, tangled with one of those phone cords was the power cord to the station’s meager security system, a screwy detail that would later endanger Sara’s chances for justice. The office also happened to have an emergency exit, which Sara bolted through to safety. She sought shelter in the mechanic’s shop next door. One of the tow-truck drivers on duty at the shop telephoned the police while the other went out with a gun to look for the assailant.
What followed, even after such a nightmarish encounter, was worse. Sara was accused of lying to the police. Frank Evanson, the detective who interviewed her in the hospital room where she was undergoing her rape kit examination, accused her of stealing the cash from the drawer and fabricating the assault story as a cover-up. She was put in jail for five days, and waited eight torturous months for her criminal trial. All the while, she was pregnant with her first child.
Wilbur Brown was arrested for a similar crime a month before Sara’s trial date in 2005. He confessed to both Reedy’s assault and the robbery in addition to numerous other rapes. In response, after Sara was released, she sued the Cranberry Township Police Department. But the suit was dismissed in 2009, after Detective Evanson presented evidence claiming that Sara had pulled the power cord to the gas station’s security system an hour before the time she claimed to have been assaulted. She pulled the cord, he testified, in order to steal the $600, and then invented the rape story as a mere diversion.
Except, it turns out, the good detective had misread the security company’s timestamp data indicating when the cord was disconnected, and failed to consult the security company experts who actually knew how to read it. This fact came out when, in August of 2010, attorneys of the Women’s Law Project, a civil-rights nonprofit based in Pennsylvania, volunteered to help Sara challenge the dismissal of her lawsuit. The result was that, this past spring, Sara won a settlement of 1.5 million dollars. Part of the settlement was a gag order that said Sara couldn’t talk about her case—until now.
VICE recently spoke with Sarawhile she was on Christmas vacation at her parents’ home in Florida.
VICE: Tell me what happened at the hospital.
Reedy: When I was brought to the hospital, Detective Evanson was already there. The police walked me through the waiting room and they basically put me in an office space like one of the nurses would use. It was a very small room, like a cubicle-type space, but it had doors. Evanson was sitting there waiting for me and that’s when he asked me to tell him what happened and I told him, and after I was finished telling all the details about the assault and the man, and how I was robbed, his first question to me was “How many times a day do you use dope?”
I thought that he was referring to heroin, because heroin had been a problem in that area, and I told him straight up that I did not use heroin, that I smoked pot occasionally but that I hadn’t smoked pot in about a week. Eventually, they moved me into an actual hospital room to give me the rape kit, but actually, before giving me the rape kit, Evanson and the corporal, Corporal Massolino, came in and questioned me again. And I had to go through the details of the assault all over again. Evanson basically led the whole thing—it’s cheesy to say, but it almost felt like they were playing this “Good Cop, Bad Cop” game, because Corporal Massolino just sat there. He really didn’t say anything. Evanson just kept on grilling me and it eventually turned into “Where’s the money? If you’d tell us now about what actually happened, you’d save yourself.” And he actually went to the extent of saying, “Your tears won’t save you now,” when I finally started crying. It was like a horrible Lifetime movie.
What was the first thing you felt when you realized he was accusing you?
I honestly felt like they were just playing “Good Cop, Bad Cop.” I was trying to reassure myself that this wasn’t actually happening. I was in total shock—I was trying to reassure myself the whole entire time that everything was going to be okay. I was giving myself every excuse as to why it was going to be okay, but I was definitely getting frustrated with dealing with Evanson. I almost felt like, “This couldn’t happen. It won’t happen.” You know, you’re brought up to believe that the cops are there to help you.
When did you decide to pursue litigation? You waited for your trial for several months, right?
I didn’t really have any basis to sue them until my vindication. That was the position I was in. Innocent until proven guilty, when, in the reality of it, you’re guilty until proven innocent. It’s hard to go ahead and sue the police until you actually have solid evidence. I’m sure I could have pursued it if I was found innocent in a trial, but I don’t think I would have had success if Wilbur wasn’t caught and had confessed to assaulting me.
Last night a candidate for Senate said that pregnancies by rape are a part of God’s plan. For someone with even an acquaintance with religion, it’s difficult to see what benevolent power could have induced the horrifying sexual assaults Angel Haze documents in the autobiographical “Cleaning Out My Closet,” perhaps the most explicitly personal song of the year. The beat comes from the Eminem song of the same title, a classic pop song that’s also about a tormented childhood at the hands of demented adults.
This song changes everything.
Check her mixtape “Classick”, it’s free. Seriously though, this song is gonna change the rap game for women.
MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: rape, instructions to rape
My friend who goes to Miami University in Ohio sent me this picture of a flier that was taped up in a men’s bathroom there. I don’t need to explain why this is horrifying, do I? She’s asked that we signal boost the shit out of it and get the word out about the degree to which rape culture pervades the campus. Please help her out with that if you can.
…yeah, that’s my university. I think I’m going to be sick.
If I wasn’t pissed before getting to this post I’m sure as hell pissed off now.
Rape culture totally doesn’t exist tho.
Oh but it’s obviously just a joke.
That’s not even close to satire. This is terrible. Perhaps voice some concern to the university directly.
What can’t be published: A month-long effort to document a sexual assault led to a detailed, engaging piece too difficult to read
Currently, Toronto women are living in fear. There are perpetrators of sexual assaults prowling multiple neighbourhoods. As the number of victims increase, I feel the familiar pulse of fear growing in the people around me, a frenzied hysteria disturbingly similar to that of that era I deeply researched while secluded in my cabin in the woods. And just like the newspaper reports of the ’80s and ’90s that surrounded the Scarborough Rapist, there is a slew of misguided commentary on how women can prevent themselves from being “easy targets.” Women are consistently asked to be “aware,” as if they aren’t already aware every hour of every day.
Words are being used to dictate what women wear, how much they drink, what hours of the night they are allowed to travel in. It is more than 20 years since Paul Bernardo’s gruesome Scarborough attacks, and the conversation still hinges on what women should do to protect themselves. It has become tedium, this multiple-decade standard hum of complete disregard for a woman’s reality. When police “encourage women to be vigilant,” they fail to recognize that women are already living in a constant state of vigilance that is no way to live, under the ceaseless threat of violation, by a stranger or by someone they know. All these years and words and we have failed to learn that no amount of prescribed costume changing or behavioural policing will ever change that.
(Illustration: Steve Murray/National Post)
Oh wow, something that started so morose and terrifying turned into an article of self justice and strength in numbers.